Let’s be real for a second—reflexive verbs in French can feel like a grammar puzzle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a “why is French doing this to me?” moment.

You start out strong with basic verbs like manger and parler, and then suddenly French throws se réveiller, s’habiller, and se dépêcher at you like it’s no big deal. But it is kind of a big deal when you're trying to wrap your head around why a verb suddenly needs a mini-you (aka a reflexive pronoun) hanging out in front of it.

But don’t worry. We're going to break it down, laugh a little, and get you to the point where you can use reflexive verbs naturally—in everyday conversation, in writing, and even when you’re panicking in your head mid-French sentence.

So grab your coffee (or wine, I’m not judging), and let’s do this—sans stress.

Want to start speaking French right away? Grab my FREE eBook: Top 100 Essential Everyday French Phrases.

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First Things First: What Even Is a Reflexive Verb in French?

In plain English, a reflexive verb is a verb where the subject is doing something to themselves. Like:

• I wash myself.

• You call yourself a genius.

• He’s talking to himself again.

See that pattern? The person doing the action and receiving the action is the same. That’s the magic of reflexive verbs.

Now in French, this “self” business is built right into the verb using a little word like me, te, se, nous, or vous. These are called reflexive pronouns. A French reflexive verb incorporates these pronouns to indicate that the subject is performing the action on themselves.

Introduction to Reflexive Verbs

Reflexive verbs are a fascinating part of French grammar that you’ll encounter quite often. Essentially, a reflexive verb is one where the subject performs an action on themselves. These verbs are also known as pronominal verbs. Think of actions like washing oneself, getting dressed, or feeling tired. For instance, when you say “Je me lave” (I wash myself) or “Tu te couches” (You go to bed), you’re using reflexive verbs. They’re indispensable in everyday French, helping you describe your daily routines and personal actions with ease.

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Characteristics of Reflexive Verbs

Reflexive verbs have some unique characteristics that set them apart from other verbs. First off, they always come with a reflexive pronoun like “me”, “te”, “se”, “nous”, or “vous” placed right before the verb. This pronoun must match the subject in both number and person. For example, you’d say “Je me lève” (I get up) or “Nous nous lavons” (We wash ourselves). Reflexive verbs aren’t limited to just one tense; you’ll find them in the present, imperfect, and passé composé, making them versatile tools in your French grammar toolkit.

Also read: The Differences Between French in France, Canada, and Switzerland

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A Reflexive Verb in Action: Let’s Take a Look

Let’s use se réveiller (to wake up) as an example.

Here’s how you’d conjugate it in the present tense:

• Je me réveille – I wake up

• Tu te réveilles – You wake up

• Il/elle/on se réveille – He/she/one wakes up

• Nous nous réveillons – We wake up

• Vous vous réveillez – You wake up (formal/plural)

• Ils/elles se réveillent – They wake up

Notice how the reflexive pronoun changes with each subject? That’s step one: matching the reflexive pronoun to the subject.

Step two: Make sure the actual verb (in this case, réveiller) is conjugated like normal. Reflexive verbs follow the usual conjugation patterns—1st group, 2nd group, or irregular. The only difference is that little reflexive pronoun tagging along.

Understanding reflexive verb conjugation is crucial for mastering French reflexive verbs, as it ensures proper use of reflexive pronouns and accurate verb forms.

Reflexive Pronouns: Quick Reference

Let’s throw down a cheat sheet real quick:

Subject	Reflexive Pronoun
Je	me (m’)
Tu	te (t’)
Il/elle/on	se (s’)
Nous	nous
Vous	vous
Ils/elles	se (s’)

When the verb starts with a vowel or mute “h,” me, te, and se become m’, t’, and s’ to keep things smooth and pronounceable. (Because French is nothing if not chic.)

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Common Reflexive Verbs You’ll Actually Use

Let’s get real—you won’t use se méfier (to distrust) every day. But these? These are your ride-or-die verbs. Here is a list of the most common reflexive verbs that are essential for daily conversation:

• se lever – to get up

• s’habiller – to get dressed

• se coucher – to go to bed

• se brosser les dents – to brush your teeth

• se doucher – to shower

• se maquiller – to put on makeup

• se dépêcher – to hurry up

• se reposer – to rest

These show up constantly in everyday conversation. If you’re telling someone about your day, chances are you’re using at least three reflexive verbs.

So… Are Reflexive Verbs Always About the Self?

Great question. Short answer: not always.

Some verbs are strictly reflexive, meaning they only make sense with a reflexive pronoun.

Example:

• Je me souviens de ce jour-là. – I remember that day.

You can’t say je souviens without me. It wouldn’t make sense.

Other verbs can be reflexive or not, depending on the meaning.

Take laver vs. se laver:

• Je lave la voiture. – I wash the car.

• Je me lave. – I wash myself.

Non reflexive verbs, on the other hand, do not require a reflexive pronoun and the action is directed outward rather than inward. Understanding the difference between reflexive and non reflexive verbs is crucial as using incorrect reflexive pronouns can alter the meaning of a sentence.

See the difference? The reflexive version turns the action inward.

Want to see how easy it is to learn French with Clémence? Take a FREE Sample Lesson today!

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But Wait, There’s More! (Types of Reflexive Verbs)

Reflexive verbs come in a few different flavors:

1. Daily routine reflexives

These describe actions you do to yourself as part of a routine.

• Je me brosse les cheveux. – I brush my hair.

• Elle se maquille. – She puts on makeup.

2. Reciprocal reflexives

Used when two or more people do something to each other.

• Nous nous parlons souvent. – We talk to each other often.

• Ils se regardent. – They’re looking at each other.

• Ils se sont parlé. – They talked to each other.

(These are especially common with se parler, se voir, s’aimer, se disputer…)

3. Idiomatic reflexives

These verbs don't always make sense when translated literally.

• Il se moque de moi. – He’s making fun of me.

• Je me doute qu’il va oublier. – I suspect he’s going to forget.

You can’t always break them down word for word—they’re just expressions you’ll get used to over time.

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Conjugating Reflexive Verbs

Conjugating reflexive verbs might seem tricky at first, but it follows a specific pattern. The reflexive pronoun is placed before the verb, and the verb is conjugated according to the subject. For example:

• Je me lave – I wash myself

• Tu te laves – You wash yourself

• Il/elle/on se lave – He/She/It/They wash themselves

• Nous nous lavons – We wash ourselves

• Vous vous lavez – You wash yourselves

• Ils/elles se lavent – They wash themselves

It’s crucial to practice these conjugations to get comfortable with them. Remember, the reflexive pronoun must always agree with the subject, and the verb follows the usual conjugation rules for its group.

Wondering what’s included in the course? Take a look at the full curriculum.

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Using Reflexive Verbs with Objects

Reflexive verbs can also be used with direct objects, which are the nouns or pronouns receiving the action of the verb. For example, “Je me lave les mains” (I wash my hands) or “Tu te brosses les cheveux” (You brush your hair). When using reflexive verbs with objects, make sure the reflexive pronoun agrees with the subject. Compare “Je me lave les mains” (I wash my hands) with “Je lave mes mains” (I wash my hands). The first sentence is reflexive, indicating the action is performed on oneself, while the second is not.

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Negative Form: Where Does "Ne...Pas" Go?

Let’s say you want to say “I’m not getting up.” That reflexive structure stays, but you wrap the “ne…pas” around both the reflexive pronoun and the verb:

• Je ne me lève pas.

• Elle ne se maquille pas.

• Nous ne nous dépêchons pas.

In negative sentences, the word 'ne' should be placed before the reflexive pronoun and 'pas' after the verb to form a correct structure.

Simple, right? Just give it a hug: “ne” goes before the reflexive pronoun, and “pas” after the verb.

Passé Composé with Reflexive Verbs (Don’t Panic)

Alright, this is the part that usually makes people groan—but don’t worry, we’re keeping it chill.

When dealing with reflexive verbs, it's important to understand the use of compound tenses, particularly the passé composé. All reflexive verbs in the passé composé use être as the auxiliary verb.

Example with se coucher:

• Je me suis couché(e) – I went to bed.

• Nous nous sommes couchés – We went to bed.

And yes, the past participle usually agrees in gender and number—with a twist:

✅ If the reflexive pronoun is also the direct object → agreement:

• Elle s’est lavée. – She washed herself. (agreement)

❌ If the reflexive pronoun is an indirect object → no agreement:

• Elle s’est lavé les mains. – She washed her hands. (no agreement)

Why? Because les mains is the direct object, not se. Classic French trickery.

Imperative Form (a.k.a. Giving Orders)

Wanna tell someone to hurry up? Here’s how reflexive verbs work in the command form:

• Lève-toi ! – Get up!

• Dépêchons-nous ! – Let’s hurry!

• Couchez-vous ! – Go to bed!

But here’s the twist: in affirmative commands, the reflexive pronoun comes after the verb and gets attached with a hyphen.

In the negative, it goes back in front of the verb, just like normal:

• Ne te lève pas ! – Don’t get up!

• Ne nous dépêchons pas ! – Let’s not hurry!

For an example sentence illustrating the correct application of reflexive verbs in the imperative form: Habille-toi vite ! – Get dressed quickly!

Reflexive Verbs in the Subjunctive Mood

Reflexive verbs can also be used in the subjunctive mood, which is used to express doubt, uncertainty, or possibility. The subjunctive mood is formed using the present tense of the verb, with the reflexive pronoun placed before the verb. For example, “Il faut que je me lave” (I need to wash myself) or “Il est nécessaire que tu te couches” (It’s necessary that you go to bed). Using reflexive verbs in the subjunctive mood can add complexity and nuance to your sentences, making your French sound more sophisticated and natural. Practice using them to become more proficient in expressing subtle shades of meaning. 

While you're here, read this too: French Culture Shock: What to Expect When Moving to France

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By following this plan, the new sections will seamlessly integrate with the existing content, maintaining the same tone and style while providing valuable information on reflexive verbs.

How to Practice Reflexive Verbs Without Going Crazy

Here are some no-stress ways to make reflexive verbs part of your everyday French:

First, it's crucial to recognize reflexive verbs in practice. This involves identifying the specific pronouns that precede these verbs and understanding the key differences between reflexive and non-reflexive verbs.

1. Talk About Your Day

Say your morning routine out loud:

• Je me réveille à 7h.

• Je me brosse les dents.

• Je m’habille.

• Je me change après le sport. (se changer) Rinse and repeat every day until it becomes second nature.

2. Journal in French

Write a few sentences a day using reflexive verbs:

• Aujourd’hui, je me suis levé tard.

• Je ne me suis pas dépêché pour aller au travail.

3. Use Memes or Songs

There are French songs that use reflexive verbs a lot (hello, Stromae). Grab the lyrics and highlight the reflexives. Make it fun.

Learning from French native speakers through songs and memes can provide authentic insights into natural speech patterns and native understanding of the language.

4. Flashcards with Context

Make flashcards with the full sentence, not just se coucher on its own. Your brain will thank you.

Additionally, learning the infinitive form of reflexive verbs is crucial for understanding how they are conjugated in various tenses, such as the future and conditional tenses.

A Few Sneaky Mistakes to Watch Out For

Even advanced learners trip up sometimes. Here are some classic slip-ups:

🚫 Saying je lave when you mean je me lave

✅ Always think: “Am I doing this to myself?”

🚫 Forgetting the reflexive pronoun in the passé composé

✅ It’s always je me suis, tu t’es, nous nous sommes, etc.

🚫 Mixing up s’appeler with appeler

✅ Je m’appelle (my name is) ≠ j’appelle (I call)

When using reflexive verbs in the passé composé, remember that the past participle agrees in gender and number with the subject or direct object, depending on its placement in relation to the verb.

Final Thoughts (Without the Drama)

Reflexive verbs might seem dramatic at first—like they’re asking for a spotlight and a little too much attention. But once you see the patterns and practice them in real-life contexts, they actually make a lot of sense.

They’re super useful for daily life, for storytelling, and for sounding way more natural when you speak French. And the more you hear and use them, the more automatic they’ll become.

So next time you catch yourself stressing over whether it’s se lever or just lever, take a deep breath and remember: you’ve got this. Reflexive verbs? Pas de problème.

Mastering reflexive verbs is crucial for understanding verbs in French, as it enhances your overall grasp of French grammar and effective communication.

If you found this blog post helpful, you’ll love the full experience. 

My complete French course is packed with practical lessons, clear explanations, and fun resources. Take a look here.

À bientôt !

Clémence